Nailsworth town centre is not as it seems. By a total fluke of chance, my ace reporter Ferdinand Blowout made a very frightening discovery about the town.

He was doing his civic duty by depositing his unmentionable magazines (is '101 projects to build using sticky backed plastic and glue' unmentionable?) into the recycling bin when he heard a yelp from within, just as he let go of the item in question.

Being a reporter of some merit (after all, he had his bronze life savers badge) he could not resist the temptation to INVESTIGATE the container.

Suddenly without any warning, a trap door disguised as a manhole cover swung open before him. Casting all thoughts of personal safety aside, Ferdinand entered into the dark passage before him. Within about 100 yards, he entered a large room. Cathedral like in magnificence, the room bristled with state of the art computer technology and video screens. Ferdinand counted 239 personnel, all operating the control panels, or watching the large viewing screen. One or two of them were even drinking cups of tea and eating sandwiches.

Two burly security 'persons' appeared from nowhere, grabbing Ferdinand's arms. They marched him off down a small corridor and into an office. The ace reporter was quite specific about this. Later, during a de-briefing session he said he had noticed the words 'Office' written on the door, so it must be true.

A rather elegantly dressed young man introduced himself as Theodore Bernstein, the controller of the whole operation, whatever that was. Ferdinand demanded some immediate answers, after all, he had arranged to take his wife Sabrina to the opera later that evening, and if he let her down again then he may as well find somewhere else to live.

Bernstein wasn't giving much away though. Reading between the lines, Ferdinand got the impression that Nailsworth was under the control of some sort of dark force or even ROBOTS. Just like in the film 'West World' except that NOBODY in the town has realised. Ferdinand started muttering something about year 2000 compliance. He then went into a huge long ramble about how he escaped. At this point, the doors burst open and two men in black suits and sun glasses entered the room and took him away.

Now before you all start to panic and clog up the A46 trying to escape from the town I feel that I must warn you that Ferdinand is in fact taking pills for an over active imagination at the moment, so this could in fact be all made up.

Personally, I believe every bit of it.